CHICAGO >>> LAS VEGAS: Blackhawks 6, Flyers 5

Note: While I am currently in the Cesaer’s sportsbook in Las Vegas either sulking or celebrating with a beer in hand, Forklift of HOCKEENIGHT will be bringing you the recap of tonight’s Game 1. I’m sure it will be short-guy jokes aplenty, so enjoy the wit and informative humor from The Oldest Man of the Blackhawks Blogsphere.

By Forklift

First of all, I’d like to thank Bartl for making me feel like a big man. Not that I feel important by guesting here, just whenever I stand next to him, I feel like fucking Gulliver walking through Liliput.

How do you like this guy? He has a Hawks’ site, and claims to be a Hawks fan, yet here is the biggest game in 18 years, and the fucking guy is in Las Vegas. Sure, they’ve got $5.00 Prime Rib, but this is where it’s all happening, little fella.

Oh, and I’m sure he’s out there trying to get some action, trying to use the “Hey, I’ve been on Fox and Friends” line. I’m sure that’s working out juuuuuuust fine. Fucking guy probably can’t get laid in a porno movie.

Anyway, the game.

What could go wrong? You wanted dumb penalties by the Hawks? Check.

Dumb turnovers? Check.

Officials missing every indiscretion by the Flyers? Check.

Bad team defense? Check.

Shaky goaltending by Antti Niemi for two periods? Check.

In fact, there’s only one thing the entire night that the Hawks did right – they scored one more goal than the Philadelphia Flyers. They won Game One of the 2010 Stanley Cup Finals, which got them closer to the Cup than they’ve been since 1973.

All the big streaks came to an end, as Jonathan Toews was held off the scoresheet after 13 straight games with at least one point, and Dustin Byfuglien’s 5-game goal streak also came to an end.

But this is what’s great about this team – they’ve got enough depth that they can get two goals from Troy  Brouwer, along with goals by Patrick Sharp (a very handsome man), Dave Bolland, Kris VERSTEEG! and Western Conference Finals healthy scratch Tomas Kopecky.

So the Flyers and their fans can console themselves with the knowledge that they kept the Hawks close. But keep this in mind: That was the worst game the Hawks have played since Game 1 against Vancouver. And they still won. Imagine what will happen when the Hawks actually play like the Hawks.

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