Head on up to Lake Toews, where the locals bathe in victory

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We have no idea where the lake will be located, but this one looks pleasant, eh?

Go ahead, dive in. You’ll immediately feel like a winner. Let’s just hope the bugs in Manitoba aren’t so big you’ll be naming them John Scott.

Per Puck Daddy, the Canadian province will re-name one of it’s 400 million lakesafter Blackhawks captain Jonathan Toews. The damn kid has everything else, might as well give him his own body of water.

As dumb as I think all of this re-naming shit is after athletes for one reason or another, this is a hell of a lot better than some of the idiocy going on in Canada. For instance, an Edmonton couple recently named their child after No. 1 pick Taylor Hall, and two dipshits named their poor baby girl ‘Syd’ after Sidney Crosby scored the game-winning goal in the Olympics.

These people need to go wash off that stupidity in Lake Toews, where cleanliness is taken Captain Seriously.

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