As I mentioned last week, I submitted a number of photoshops for the Puck Daddy Bruins Bear contest. As usual (due to a long-running conspiracy of course), none of them made the final cut, but here they are for your enjoyment.
Need a hanky? Perhaps this white towel will do?
More photoshops after the jump.
I knew it!
Here’s another play on the photo above, but this time Bettman’s logged into his YouTube account (username “GaryLicious_NBA_Fan” in case you didn’t already know), checking out his favorite videos. I scrunched the image so it would fit, but you can click on the photo to view the full-sized version.
Bettman’s a Rebecca Black and Sid Crosby fan? Who would’ve thunk it?
This one’s my personal favorite. Wysh did post it on Puck Daddy, but it didn’t win me any glittering prizes. Again, I had to reduce the image. There’s a lot going on, so click on the photo to see it actual-sized.
Here’s the concept behind the image…
My idea was to create collage of my favorite Bruins photos and memes and turn it into a Dogs Playing Poker meets Where’s Waldo poster that any Puck Daddy-reading Bruins fan would be proud to display in his or her poker room (preferably in stretched velvet) or to hang above the headboard of their bed (chicks, especially wives, dig this. Trust me on this one guys). I wanted the final result to be subtle, not LOL funny; and crowded, but not overwhelming.
When I saw the photo of Marchand in a fedora I immediately knew my background had to be Nighthawks by Edward Hopper. Since I’m foremost a Blackhawks fan and secondarily one of anyone playing the Canucks, I considered the title NotHawks, but went with Boulevard of Bruined Dreams (get it? “B-ruined,” as in “Broken.” guh) as a nod to the original parody by Gottfried Helnwein.
What’s going on here?
The original café was called “Phillies.” We couldn’t have that, so I changed it to “Boston Blackies” bar (it’s was a frickin’ bear contest people). Marchand is doing some two-fisted drinking. The lovely Rachel McAdams appears to be more impressed with length not girth (make note). Claude Julien has found his perfect date, who is just as disinterested and boring as him. Bathroom swirly guy apparently hasn’t learned his lesson. Tyler Seguin (he’s too young to be in the bar, right?) is displaying some talent and hanging with Bruins Bear who is breaking in his brand-spanking-new modified Stanley Cup Champions NHL “Drinking” Tube. The gloating Bruins fan is chasing away a green man, and waiving a towel that doesn’t mean “surrender.”
In the background, Timmy Thomas has just left Gary Bettman’s shop as Luongo, looking like Eddy Murphy in Trading Places, pines for something valuable. Zdeno Chara is stopping by to pick up some hardware of his own. Bobby Orr is giving Henrik Sedin lessons on acceptable diving, while the rest of the Bruins party in the street. And finally, Bruins Bear (ya gotta have three bears in any fairy tale, right?) is wondering “who the hell is gonna pay for this?? All I had was this one freaking beer!” (and yes, that is the actual receipt photo)
And if you were too lazy to click on the image above, here are a couple of screenshots.
John Schultz, lead writer and photoshop guy for BlackhawkUp. Follow me on Twitter @ChiNativeSon.