Chicago Blackhawks’ Fans: Moving Forward

The season is over.

Time for therapy. Somehow, all of us Chicago Blackhawks fans will find a way to get over until start of the 2016/2017 season in the fall. Picking up new home-improvement projects. Pretending to care about baseball. Kindling a sense of optimism about the Chicago Bears. Wearing only black and growing long hair and fingernails. Shooting hockey pucks at an old trash can every evening after work, with a few beers, and a bottle of high-proof booze. We’ll all cope. We’ll be alright.

I’m sorry.

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I did it. I messed up my Blackhawks witchcraft and we lost. For away games, I hung my white ‘Hawks sweater face-out, and for home games, I hung the sweater face-in. For Game 7, I wore it on my miserable, fanboy body. No hats were worn, or stashed on the front console of my car. I didn’t sit in the car and listen to the games on the radio. And we lost. I’m sorry for messing with the energy. That double-post ringer at the end of the third period? Yeah, you can put that on me.

As penance, I sat in my car for hours, listening to “Chelsea Dagger” on repeat and trying to sing along through fits of anger and tears.

I stopped checking on hockey scores every twenty minutes. I thought about doing unspeakable things; maybe it’s time to clean the hot wing stains, sweat, and dirt marks out of the jersey. No, I’ll start writing letters, begging for a winner-take-all rematch. I’ll write John Malkovich, or David Miscavige. They’ll help.

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But then I hit on it:

The Blackhawks can actually just keep playing, and winning, in my NHL 15 career mode. Cheer up, ‘Hawks fans! I’m sweeping my way towards the 2016 Stanley Cup Playoffs as we speak, and I’m doing it with a fixed, and injury free, line-up. Imagine that! I’ll win the Cup for us all, and you can too!

Then again, we would never have lost if the Blackhawks organization had a time machine. Come on, Stan! Forget the prospects and the draft. Spend a little money on science! With enough R&D, and a few trades we will sorely hate, I’m sure the Blackhawks could come upon a Continuum Transfunctioner.

At the very worst, we Blackhawks fans can snuggle into the past. Most of the past Stanley Cup campaigns can be found online. I personally love watching the NHL 94 scene from the movie Swingers. The clip has too much cursing to embed, but oh well. Here’s a link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3vHbOilhpc. Jeremy Roenick has great highlights anyway.