Trading Places: Bills’ T.O., Blackhawks’ Kane

By Jeffrey Bartl

In a  town just waiting for Terrell Owens to make his first stupid move, a 20-year-old, baby-faced All-American Boy who plays for the damn Blackhawks suddenly became Buffalo’s new badass.

Patrick Kane plays a sport most known for its fighting. He’s been singled out on the ice by opponents, smashed into the boards, slashed, tripped, poked… you name it — and he’s never once dropped his gloves in the NHL.

But 20 cents? Two dimes? Four nickels? Oh, now it’s time to rumble.

Where was T.O. this weekend? Playing an organized football game on national television without incident. He even found it in his heart to praise his quarterback.

Kane, on the other hand, was out in Buffalo’s nightlife scene well past his bedtime yelling, “You don’t know who you’re fucking with!” to a cab driver while punching him in the face and breaking his glasses.

I think I’ve found Bizarro World.

I don’t have to re-hash T.O.’s idiocy. He’s done enough talking on his own.

Yet it’s Kane with his mugshot circulating on television and in the newspapers. The soft-spoken kid with a supposed heart of gold and talent beyond his years has the sports world wondering who to trust.

The Buffalo Bills signed T.O. in large part because they needed the publicity — good or bad. The most unlikely athlete stole the spotlight over 20 cents.

Relating this further into football terms, Kane’s late-night run-in with Buffalo’s Finest would be like Tom Brady punching a bartender over a $7 drink in Boston. It’s just as unlikely as what happened with Kane — or so we thought.

If your jaw didn’t drop when finding out the news Kane was involved in such an incident, you either don’t know enough about hockey or you’re just an idiot. If T.O. did something like this in Buffalo, we all would have shrugged, maybe laughed a bit and then waited for ESPN to discuss it for the next 20 weeks.

Somehow, Kane was able to do the impossible — switch public images with Terrell Owens. Now, it will be the sweet little boy facing questions about his maturity during the Off-Season From Hell and into the 2009-10 campaign. And somehow T.O is getting a free pass.

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