Like I needed another reason to hate the Canucks.

By Jeffrey Bartl

Conspiracy! Conspiracy! NHL, it’s time to investigate another outlandish, front-loaded 12-year deal given to a star player! It warned everyone by going after the long-term deals of Marian Hossa and Chris Pronger, and Vancouver didn’t listen! Get ’em!

Well, screw that noise. Granted, Roberto Luongo’s new 12-year, $64M extension with the Vancouver Canucks will have that jackass diving for pucks until he’s 43-years old and he will be making a mere $1M in the last two years of this deal, but whatever.

Simply, I’m angry as a fan. I hate the Canucks. I think Henrik and Daniel Sedin sleep with each other four times per week wearing the old-school Canucks jerseys, then trim each other’s goatees with those little nail scissors that no man in this world should possess. Now, Luongo — who is an all-world goalie, and I hate to admit that — will be stopping pucks for the Ambiguously Incestuous Duo to put in the opposite net for 12 more years. Troubling.

But really, the Blackhawks made the guy cry in front of television cameras after last season’s playoff loss. That makes this a little bit easier to stomach.

Here’s a look around the blogsphere at the extension:

Say all you want about the contract — Luongo is the franchise. (Puck Daddy)

Bingo Bango Bongo? My f-ing God I hate the Canucks. (Nucks Misconduct)

Mike Kiley believes these 12-year deals “muddy the ice.” Blackhawks Confidential

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