Who in the funky hell is Chris McElhinney? He’s the guy who makes an appearance in net when Miikka Kiprusoff has six pucks in his rectum.
The Blackhawks made a huge statement in the first of the six-game Circus Trip by farting all over the Flames with five goals in the second period for a 7-1 victory in Calgary. It’s the ‘Hawks sixth straight regular-season victory against the Flames and fifth straight win overall. If you’re scoring at home, that makes 13 goals against Calgary in two games this season. Suck it.
Kris Versteeg scored two power-play goals, Patrick Kane tickled twine on is 21st birthday, Troy Brouwer, Dustin Byfuglien and Andrew Ladd netted one each, Duncan Keith had three assists, Cristobal Huet played spectacular and Ollie Jokinen and Brent Sopel scared the living shit out of every single HD viewer.
But the best part? Niklas Hjalmarsson laying some Swedish Thunder on Rene Bourque, which proceeded to draw a two-minute jackass penalty on Nigel Dawes. Hilarious.
This game was such a shit bomb, even Tomas Kopecky proved he does indeed have a pulse by making a nice feed in front of the net to earn an assist on (cough) Ben Eager’s goal.
I’m not looking too much into the fact the ‘Hawks were out-shot 28-26, mainly because the 9-2 Flames shot advantage in the third period came when the ‘Hawks were simply trying to pass the time before buying Kaner a shot at the bar. But I am cringing at the fact Colin Fraser continues to fight people. He’s the Glass Joe of the NHL. I admire the courage and tenacity, but man — at least win one, buddy.
I don’t think I’m alone in believing this game was going to be a lot closer. After the sandbagging we gave the Flames in October, I figured they’d be out for blood. Instead, the Blackhawks stuck the proverbial middle finger in their faces and laughed the Flames out of their own building.
Only Fraser, Sopel and Jonathan Toews were missing from the score sheet tonight. Wow. And this is a team still playing without Marian Hossa and Dave Bolland. The ‘Hawks are 13-5-2 and are getting ready to add one of the best players in the league. Holy. Piss.
Next up Saturday are the Edmonton Oilers and our old pal Nikolai Khabibulan. GO HAWKS!