Blackhawks News

The Blackhawks Enter The Handzus Zone!

By Sean Fitzgerald

Nov 29, 2013; Dallas, TX, USA; Chicago Blackhawks center Michal Handzus (26) warms up before the game against the Dallas Stars at the American Airlines Center. The Blackhawks defeated the Stars 2-1 in the overtime shootout. Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the HANDZUS Zone!! Quote courtesy of the Twilight Zone.

The Handzus zone is where teammates that play with Michal Handzus end up! They enter a dimension that is filled with not vast space or timeless infinity but instead it is filled with HORRIBLE PLAY and minimal points! This season the Handzus Zone has been sucking in the second line for the majority of the year, despite the efforts of Patrick Kane.  Coach Quenneville was so memorized by the Handzus zone that he kept him on the second line for far too long. The Blackhawks finally wised up recently and moved Handzus off the second line.  With the fourth line playing so well Coach Quenneville has decided not to break it up. Handzus was moved to third line center.

The new third line featured Handzus, Kris Versteeg, and Bryan Bickell. Without Handzus on the line, Versteeg and Bickell are being plagued by their own struggles this season.  By their powers combined they became Captain Planet, just kidding. They actually became the WORST LINE on the Blackhawks! On the season, Versteeg has 6 goals and 10 assists, Bickell has 6 goals and 2 assists, and Handzus has 4 goals and 6 assists. To put this in perspective Brandon Bollig is a type player and not known for his scoring ability has similar numbers to the third liners. He has 4 goals and 5 assists. The Blackhawks are in trouble if BOLLIG is producing more than anyone on the team!

The third has drawn the IRE of Coach Quenneville!  In the Blackhawks last game against Edmonton, Bickell, Handzus, and Versteeg barely played in the third period. Bickell played 12 seconds, Versteeg got a 1:29 and Handzus got 28 seconds of even ice time. Was this all the fault of the Handzus Zone? No, Handzus is NOT ENTIRELY to blame for third line struggles; however, he does have a HUGE hand in it.

How do the Blackhawks survive the Handzus Zone? First, Coach Quenneville must change his thoughts on Handzus as a player. Second, the Blackhawks need to Free Brandon Pirri from Rockford and play him instead of Handzus. Third, Handzus must have a Nikolai Khabibulin type disappearance!

All joking aside, Handzus is hurting the Blackhawks when he is on the ice. They need to find a way to get some usage out of him or get rid of him.

If you agree or disagree please feel a comment below.

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