Up your Pujols: Blackhawks 6, Blues 3

I’ve seen Davis Payne coach in person once before. It was Halloween this past October in Cleveland when I attended the Lake Erie Monsters vs. Peoria Rivermen game at Quicken Loans Arena. I should have realized last night’s game was going to turn into a boxing match.

Payne, coaching the Rivermen at the time, clearly instructed his players to play like assholes against a more talented Lake Erie team. Fights, roughing penalties, game misconducts — Peoria had them all. And just like last night, Payne got his ass kicked in a 4-1 Peoria loss.

It was clear from the start the Blues and Payne were making up for their lack of talent by attempting to bully the Blackhawks into coming down to their level. The ‘Hawks answer? Goals. Lots of goals. There will be more important victories this season (see: San Jose twice, New Jersey, Pittsburgh), but none more satisfying than last night’s 6-3 win against Chicago Jr.

The officiating last night was an f-ing joke. Sam at SCH put is so well, I’ll give him his due. I wouldn’t be able to write it any better:

"It’s rare on this site that we complain about the refs, which is a good thing.  Maybe it’s a childhood listening to Tallon and Foley cry bloody murder (before crying for another bloody mary) on every call, but we tend to look other places for talking points than the officiating.  But tonight, it was awful.  How Jackman didn’t get a major, much less any call, for giving the People’s Elbow to Kane is beyond me.  Was it Weaver who hit Sharp?  Yeah, he leaves his feet and charges from Kaufman Stadium, no call.  What a joke.  And still the Hawks got out of the 1st tied.  Oh, and on that 5-on-3 Tkachuk hauled down Madden, but no call there.  Whatever.  Tkachuk got his, and I sincerely hope he’s eating his food through a straw for the next few weeks, twat."

And despite all this shit, the Blackhawks won. Why? They’re a better hockey team, plain and simple. Every team in the league is more physical than the Blackhawks, every one of them. That might sound strange, but it’s the truth. The Blackhawks are a finesse, puck-control team that beats you with speed, talent and hockey IQ. Go ahead and try and beat their ass with bigger bodies. The Blackhawks will beat you on the scoreboard. People bitch too much about how the ‘Hawks react to physical teams which try to intimidate them. I don’t care if all the ‘Hawks started crying on the ice as long as they keep winning.

The reason the ‘Hawks don’t have to play like the Blues is because they have the talent to beat teams and not worry about having to take out a star player with a cheap shot. Though my buddy Jeff had this to say, which made me laugh really hard:

"Coach Q is probably going to say after the game, ‘Well we wanted to go take out one of their star players, but we just couldn’t find any.’"

God I hate St. Louis. It was a night in St. Louis that doesn’t surprise you, even though a bunch of crazy shit happened. I mean for the love of all that is holy — Tomas F-ing Kopecky scored two goals and rang the post trying for a hat trick. After that puck hit iron, I braced for the Apocalypse.

Jonathan Toews dropped the gloves and Marian Hossa got back into the groove with a couple assists. Patrick Sharp scored twice, Kris VERSTEEG! added one and Brian Campbell made up for looking like he was wearing slippers most of the night by netting a goal of his own on a ground ball to short that trickled past Ty Conklin.

Have I mentioned how much I hate Barret Jackman? What an f-ing pile of squirrel shit this guy is. I’m glad Ben Eager gave him some nice ear shots while laughing in his face later in the game after Jackman’s forearm shiver on Kaner. As punishment, Jackman should have to walk the streets of East St. Louis between the hours of 1 a.m. and 4 a.m. We’ll see how tough you are then, asshole.

Tonight, the surprisingly bad Anaheim Ducks come to town sporting a mere 39 points and a 5-10-5 road record. Though the Ducks have lost four of five, they did blank the ‘Hawks 3-0 the day after Thanksgiving in game that thoroughly pissed me off.

J.S. Giguere will likely get the start in net tonight, as should Antti Niemi for the Blackhawks. Puck drop is at 6 p.m. from the United Center.

Quack, quack, quack, quack, Mr. Ducksworth.

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