Blackhawks News

It’s a win. Shut up: ‘Hawks 6, Blues 5

By Jeffrey Bartl
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I came home to the NHL on the Fly panel saying, “This is the kind of game where you wonder if Chicago is ready for the playoffs.”

Yes, the Blackhawks went up 6-1 and held on for a 6-5 win against the Shithole of America Blues. But to doubt the ‘Hawks are ready for the playoffs — after a fifth straight victory with a defensive unit held together by duct tape and a 23-goal forward sitting out for the second straight game — is pure stupidity.

While I’m not overcome with orgasms over the fact the ‘Hawks took their foot off the gas, I’m not going to start lighting shit on fire either.  Marian Hossa went out in the first period after being checked into the boards and the lines were again shuffled beyond recognition because of the absences in the lineup. It was the second game of a road-home, back-to-back in which their rookie goal started both ends of it.

On top of it all, this game was against a bunch of no-talent ass clowns who would play hockey without a puck wearing those thinly padded MMA gloves if they were given the opportunity. Why should the ‘Hawks have went around skating like Apollo Ohno to risk more injury because of the steel-cage-match style of play the Blues insist on playing?

I’m fine with a four-goal, first-period outburst and playing well enough to get a victory. So let’s just end the talk about HOW the Blackhawks won this game. It’s two points. Shut up and enjoy it.

Some other stuff…

— The triumphant return of VERSTEEG! He became the Blackhawks’ first four-point scorer with a goal and three assists.

So, in honor of Kris VERSTEEG! having a four-point night, I’m giving away a Versteeg autographed ticket stub to a random winner once the Facebook fan page has 400 fans and/or the site’s Twitter @BlackhawksUp has 400 followers. Readyyyyyy GO!

Keith Tkachuk was in the booth on the Blues broadcast tonight to discuss his pending retirement. What’s funny is while he was in the booth trying to discuss his great moments with the Blues and how happy he is to retire in St. Louis, the Blackhawks were busy scoring four unanswered goals. Every time he tried to speak, the ‘Hawks would score. It was hilarious. As far as I’m concerned, he can rot in the core of hell.

— I still can’t believe how horrible the ‘Hawks look on the power play. Here’s how it goes: Skate the puck to the blue line, then dump it in. Someone fails to get control and keep the puck deep in the zone. The opposition clears. Skate the puck to the blue line again, dump it in again. ‘Haws gain control and attempt to pass it to the point. Point man can’t control the puck, puck slides out of the zone. Repeat. A big fat 0-for-6 tonight. Let’s. Get. This. Shit. Together. Now.

Kim Johnsson is still dead.

— The Blackhawks set another franchise record in earning 109 points on the season. If they win out, they’re the top seed in the Western Conference. After all the meatball bantering regarding the goaltenders, after all the ball gargling over the injuries and horrendous March, the Blackhawks control their own fate in earning home-ice advantage through the conference finals. Neato.

Bobby Hull will be at The Bottom Lounge for Friday night’s game against the Colorado Avalanche. Unless you’re going to see comedian Jim Jeffries at the Lakeshore Theater that night — specifically the 10:30 show — then you better be there to meet the Golden Jet. And if you’re going to the Lakeshore Theater, let me know so you can buy me a beer.

‘Til then…

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