Chicago Blackhawks Flashback: Holiday Album

It’s Wednesday, meaning some Blackhawk Up readers are about halfway through their work week. So I’m going to provide a blast to the past each Hump Day to give you all a little extra oomph and help you get to the weekend. The Chicago Blackhawks have done a lot of funny or endearing video spots since the organization emerged from its dark days. Those spots will be the topic of these flashback posts.

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Last week, we enjoyed the journalistic stylings of young Joey the Junior Reporter. The adorable kid and his interactions with current and now-former Blackhawks was good for plenty of laughs.

This week’s video is good for some laughs, too. But it probably isn’t what you’d call adorable. The Blackhawks do plenty of cheesy content for timeout and intermission breaks at the United Center, but they — and other NHL teams — also like to keep up with the holidays. Many teams do some sort of holiday segment, and the Blackhawks were no different back in 2011.

You get the feeling players like Duncan Keith were told prior to this video’s creation, “If you just sit through this, we’ll make sure you get some more Stanley Cups down the road.”

This video is basically a commercial for a (hopefully) fake holiday album featuring songs altered to fit players’ names into them. Some of the players appear interested, some don’t and none of them know how to sing.

Dave Bolland leads it off with some kind of confusing Frosty the Snowman-Dave Bolland crossover. Bolland apparently had just fallen out of a winter-themed version of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas as well.

Please don’t tell Johnny Depp about this. (Screenshot from YouTube)

Patrick Sharp follows that up with some nice snapping while letting kids everywhere know that he, not Santa Claus, is coming to town. Then, we get a performance from the guy who’s probably most into this idea, Bryan Bickell. He does an awesome little jive while messing with his suspender straps, all to the tune of Jingle Bells.

This would somehow be the second-most ridiculous thing he’d wear with the Blackhawks. (Screenshot from YouTube)

After some filler and promotion from the voiceover guy, Keith and Brent Seabrook get in on the fun. I have no idea what song Keith has been given (feel free to leave the answer in the comments), but Seabrook receives I Saw Three Ships with some interesting lyrical changes, all while wearing a very tall Santa hat.

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So the voiceover guy follows this up by talking about hockey players singing in perfect key. After which we get to Marian Hossa, who appears to be physically pained by singing a holiday carol. He might also be the worst singer in the NHL.

Good thing he’s alright at this hockey business. (Screenshot from YouTube)

Nick Leddy takes his turn after that with the Dreidel Song, though the word Dreidel is replaced by Leddy. John Scott follows that up with a dancing shtick similar to Bickell’s in Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. We’re informed that some people don’t believe there’s such a thing as John Scott. The NHL will be sure that never happens.

Michael Frolik was given Feliz Navidad — or Frolik Navidad, in this case — along with the most awesome ugly Christmas sweater ever seen. Patrick Kane follows that up with his Kaner shuffle in Auld Lang Syne.

Just when you think the pain is over, Niklas Hjalmarsson graces our presence with some fantastically dorky singing and dancing, along with a hat flip for good measure. Poor Sean O’Donnell got suckered into this as well, and if he wasn’t considering retiring before the 2011-12 season with Chicago, this might have sealed the deal.

I could be on a beach in Florida. (Screenshot from YouTube)

But no holiday album would be complete without Jonathan Toews, who strikes me as someone who would never sing within earshot of his fellow Blackhawks. Also, what’s going on with his eye? Was this video shot right after he picked a fight with Joe Thornton?

The fun … it burns me. (Screenshot from YouTube)

This video should help you laugh the way through the remainder of your Wednesday afternoon, at the very least.

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