It’s Halloween, and with no Chicago Blackhawks game on the schedule, let’s have some fun with the team and a favorite holiday
Many people love Halloween. For kids, it’s a chance to don costumes and get candy in door-to-door fashion. For some adults, it’s a chance to also sport a costume while heading to a local party. Surely some of the Chicago Blackhawks will be involved in both versions of Halloween tonight, as they do not have a game.
But this also means we don’t have a whole lot to write about today, so let’s go ahead and have some fun with the Blackhawks and the holiday. Today, we’re going to take a look at a costume idea for each of the rostered Blackhawks (including those on long-term injured reserve).
Artem Anisimov: A soldier
This is probably not something Anisimov looks back upon fondly, but it makes for an easy answer to “What Halloween costume should he wear?”
Anisimov’s “sniper celebration” drew a lot of anger from the opposing Tampa Bay Lightning when Anisimov was with the New York Rangers. It was a random moment in which he went over the top, but it’s enough time has passed (six years) that he can turn it into a bit of comedy now.
Lance Bouma: Big Bob-omb
Big Bob-omb is a character from the Super Mario video game universe. He’s a bomb with a large white mustache who is quite slow moving around.
Bouma’s name sounds a bit like “bomb,” and he’s also not that fast. As long as he’s willing to put some work into this costume, I think it can succeed.
Corey Crawford: Brick wall
If people can dress up as Tetris pieces, then Crow can certainly fashion a faux brick wall out of cardboard and some paint. It’s too easy to say Crow should go out as a crow, so why not dress him up like the thing he’s been for the Blackhawks most of the last several years?
Da Windy City
Alex DeBrincat: Toulouse
I really didn’t want to make DeBrincat an Oompa Loompa or a member of the Lollipop Guild just because of his slight stature. So I went with his circulating cat-related nicknames and landed on Toulouse, a character from Disney’s “Aristocats.”
Toulouse is described on the Disney wikia (there’s a wikia for everything) as fairly laid-back but always trying to be tough, which is kind of how DeBrincat’s start to the NHL looked. Toulouse also a creative cat (in painting), and DeBrincat is a creative hockey player (in passing and scoring).
Anton Forsberg and Gustav Forsling: Swedish meatballs
Somehow, the Blackhawks have gone from carrying a bevy of Swedes to just two. While former Blackhawk Niklas Hjalmarsson has often been noted for his solid Halloween costumes (or just anytime costumes), I think it’d be easiest for Forsberg and Forsling to go back to their roots here.
An alternative option would be for them to dress as IKEA salespeople.
Cody Franson: A ghost
Get the veteran defenseman a white sheet with a couple holes cut in it, as he’s essentially been a ghost since joining the Blackhawks. He’s notably playing with Duncan Keith in the latest defensive pairings, so maybe Franson will get a revival soon.
Ryan Hartman: Butch Coolidge
Bruce Willis’ character from the famed movie “Pulp Fiction” fits Hartman well enough. You think you’re getting one thing from him (such as Coolidge planning to throw his boxing match), and then you get some fighting and scrapping and a flip of the script (such as everything Coolidge does after not throwing said match).
Hartman is a pugilist who seems to be trying to do more for himself on the ice. I’d compare that to Coolidge in Pulp Fiction.
John Hayden: Jeff Van Gundy
The former NBA coach and current NBA television analyst attended Yale University for a year. Hayden was a Bulldog hockey player for four seasons. All Hayden needs to do is hide that flow under some sort of half-bald wig and he’s got it covered.
Marian Hossa: Moses
Patrick Kane: Jimmy Buffet
Duncan Keith: Iron Man
Keith might not be quite the outgoing celebrity Tony Stark is, but he fits the Iron Man motif simply through his play on the ice. Keith is more or less considered a cyborg at this point for logging heavy minutes in all situations with the Blackhawks. He’s their Iron Man on a day-to-day basis.
Michal Kempny and Connor Murphy: Scooby Doo and Pluto
These two can be interchangeable, but the point is this: Neither defenseman can seem to get out of the doghouse.
Tanner Kero: John Hancock
I have no costume ideas for Tanner Kero. Thankfully, while looking at the Blackhawks’ roster, I noticed Kero hails from Hancock, Mich. So he could either be the famed founding father or the super hero Will Smith played in a movie. Probably better to be the former, really.
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Jordan Oesterle: An oyster
The logistics of dressing up like an oyster — i.e. creating some kind of oyster-looking contraption that someone can stick their head and upper body out of — are likely convoluted. But Oesterle’s name reminds me of an oyster, and I haven’t seen him play enough to have him remind me of anything else.
Richard Panik: Brendon Urie
This would be the lead singer of the band Panic! At The Disco. I’d prefer Panik donned this getup when imitating Urie.
Michal Rozsival: Axl Rose
This would be entirely too much fun to see.
Jan Rutta: A tree
He’s a solid 6-foot-3, so that works. His name is also pronounced “root-uh,” and what do you think of when the subject is roots? Trees.
Brandon Saad: The Godfather
Among Saad’s nicknames is The Saadfather, and I think Saad would have the chops to give us a bit of Marlon Brando with this role. Saad always comes off as a far older individual than he actually is, anyway, so to see him advance a few decades in age isn’t a big jump.
Nick Schmaltz: A deck of cards
I’m really reaching here, because Schmaltz is another one I have no good ideas for (though you can argue I have very few good ideas ahead of him on this list). If you look back at Schmaltz’s playing history, you can see parts of three seasons spent with the USHL’s Green Bay Gamblers.
Since dressing up as a casino employee isn’t too exciting, and since building a roulette or slot machine around a man sounds extremely difficult (just above oyster-level difficulty), just find a nice tall box and paint it to look like a deck of cards.
Brent Seabrook: A horse
I’m going to avoid being too abusive about Seabrook’s steadily rising immobility and instead suggest he dress up like a horse from the old show “Most Extreme Elimination Challenge,” since his name is a lot like Seabiscuit.
Patrick Sharp: The Illinois Lottery bunny
Jonathan Toews: Grumpy Cat
The faces of Toews will keep us all laughing long after he’s retired.
Jordin Tootoo: A train car
All aboard the Tootoo Train!
Tommy Wingels: A pilot
He can wear a little wings lapel on his shirt/jacket and have some fun playing off his last name.
Bonus — Joel Quenneville: Herb Brooks
This is even more appropriate since Q apparently made the Blackhawks skate laps after today’s practice. I can just hear Kurt Russell shouting “AGAIN!” thinking about that.